Your Comfort Zone And Living Your Dream

Last week Sunday, I was invited on stage to sing with an extremely talented, well renowned jazz singer, Naomi-Crawford Taylor. What’s important about this is that I hadn’t been singing jazz in public for years, but had made the decision to get back on stage this year. The thing is that it happened way faster than I expected with this spur of the moment invitation while I was on holidays, visiting my family in the Bahamas. So last Sunday represents a huge breakthrough for me. (Here is the link to the video in case you can’t see the one above:

Because of background noise, the recording is bit fuzzy at the beginning, but things clear up at the end (as with most things in life.) This experience builds on so much of what I’ve been learning and applying in the last little while.

What I need you to know is that going outside your comfort zone is the only way to achieve your dreams and fulfill your purpose. Each time you go outside your comfort zone, you expand your potential because you redefine what you are capable of and change what you believe about yourself.

Going outside of your comfort zone is literally you breaking through barriers of self-limiting thoughts and beliefs and you expanding the boundaries of who you are and what is possible for you.

This is why last Sunday was such a breakthrough for me. I was outside of my comfort zone. It was uncomfortable to be back on stage after such a long time. It was uncomfortable for the performance not to be “perfect” (although it was absolutely perfect in the way it unfolded.) It was uncomfortable to be seen and even more uncomfortable to be seen in my imperfection. I was breaking through my fears: “Could I really pull this off with no practice whatsoever? Here?! Now?! At this luxurious, gorgeous, sparking Jazz Bar in this exclusive resort? With all these people watching? And me in my plain clothes? WHAT IF I SCREWED UP?!?!”

In spite of those fears roaring so loud that I instantly lost my appetite and my ability to breathe the moment I agreed to sing, in spite of the mini-freak out when it dawned on me what I had agreed to, in spite of being terrified, I went up there and I did it. My voice cracked. I kept going anyway. I tried to go into the chorus when there was more verse left. Naomi led us back on track and the show continued.

When Naomi offered me to sing, I could have easily said “No thanks. I know I just told you I want to get back on stage, but I’m too terrified to go up there and you know what, I’m just not ready.” I could have let the fear drive my choice, but I didn’t. I seized the opportunity and took another step towards living my dream.

The thing is, most of us let our fears get in the way of our potential all the time. It’s far easier to listen to the big roaring voice of fear, or even the more subtle voice of procrastination while our dreams are sitting on the sideline waiting for a chance to live through us. It’s easy to say, “I’ll do it later, when the time is right.” It’s easy to let ourselves get lost in the distractions of everyday life. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you really want to start living your dream now is the time to do it. Now is the time to get outside your comfort zone and take action. Now is the time to go after your destiny and start walking towards fulfilling your life purpose. It could be as simple as starting that one thing you know will bring you closer to achieving your goal. Do it. Don’t wait. Get support from a friend, loved one or coach. Your big breakthrough is on the other end. What do you have to lose?!

P.S. Shortly after my first post from last Sunday, I was invited to sing at The Drive Coffee Bar where Gerald Chan will be doing a show. Peter Konefal and I will be featured somewhere in the middle to do two jazz numbers. See how things happen when we are willing to take the risk going outside our comfort zone? The show is from 7 to 9, hope you can make it!

P.S.S. Thanks again Chrislyn @kindlovepeace for recording and for being sooooo supportive through the whole thing!!!

On Learning to Surrender

The lesson I am continuing to learn is surrender. With each layer of surrendering more and more, I find greater freedom and greater peace. This past week I was trying to wake up at 5 am so I could get to the office earlier, so I could leave earlier to have more time to focus on all the things that inspire me and bring me joy – my hobbies, my coaching business and connecting with my loved ones. All week as I “worked hard” to make this happen, I found that the harder I worked, the more difficult it became. The more I policed and admonished myself, the more my stress levels rose around bedtime – leading to not so great sleep which led to not waking up at 5 am like I wanted. Hello self-sabotage.

I stressed myself out over achieving the goal so much that by mid-week I realized that I was in a battle, fighting with no one other than myself. Fighting the thoughts that said “How hard could it be Tyche? You’re a morning person. Remember?” “Really? 5:35? You are sooo failing here?” It’s no surprise that my body got in on the action and very soon, I found myself battling one of those icky viruses going around at this time of year. All of this continued until I reached my breaking point on Thursday night and said “Screw it! Too bad! I am going to sleep now and I will wake up whenever I wake up! My body needs rest.” (Take that saboteurs!) I was forced into surrender mode. Can you guess what happened?

Yep, you guessed right! On Friday morning I woke up at 4:54. Before my alarm. Well rested and refreshed. I got to the office as early as I wanted and left as early as I wanted. I reached my goal, but only after I was able to let go of such strong attachment to it.

So often, life is like that; we fight with ourselves and wage war against some unseen enemy when we are trying to achieve something. We expect that it will be difficult and that is exactly what we create.

But what if it wasn’t always so difficult? What if we could just go with the flow? What if we could set intentions and just trust that our desires will come to pass? What if we named and acknowledged those voices that tell us that we’ll never reach our goal, or that it’s too hard, (or whatever crack story the saboteur comes up with) but then blow right past them and take action anyway? What if life didn’t have to force us to surrender? What if we were in the regular habit of letting go, freely? Can you imagine how much more goodness would flow into our lives?

I know I’m not alone on this journey of greater surrender, so here is an invitation to explore how this might apply to you. I invite you to notice in your life where you are holding on when what is needed is letting go. Really think about where you might be fighting, when all you need to do is relax and go with the flow. Take stock of where you need to surrender and make a decision to do just that. Then watch. Watch how easy it gets. Watch everything you want come to you.  It was always yours to begin with.